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Also, if you're not good at small talk, then make it big talk. When a conversation lulls, clever segues are nice but it's ok to make abrupt subject changes, too. This, or otherwise make some compromises to your aloofness (yes, it's a word). I'm very aloof and don't pull shit off at all.With all of that said, it's ok if a conversation doesn't flow. If you can't engage another person, then they are either not interested or may not be a good match. Making that first contact but even more so establishing continuous contact is really hard when you hate stuff like texting.

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But, when in a social setting, I have to force myself to be very forward, to introduce myself, to speak up, make jokes, offer compliments, ask questions.

Not only do you worry about whether the person you're meeting up with lives up to your expectations or the way she represented herself online, you have to worry about how you live up to her expectations. (Only if she asks.) Is it too boring to talk about work?

And then there's the conversation and wondering what topics are appropriate and what you should avoid talking about. (No, but keep it short.) Will she think you're being too forward if you tell her you like her dress?

Sure I can, but I don't feel like trying too hard either.

However, I still prefer face to face conversation and want to keep texting minimal.I gotta say this, aloof is kinda good at the start cuz as a female you kind of get bombarded.