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21-Mar-2019 13:26

However, paying someone to tie you up and tell you you're a dirty girl isn't illegal. Evidently, though, if you're looking for BDSM to be part of actual sex, you're not going to get it through hiring a professional.

As the name implies, these people are in the business of BDSM. You'll be instructed about what the safe words are, you'll have to dress in a certain way, and you will be told what is and what is not permissible to do during a session.

It might be worth it to think about other things that turn you on, and talk with your partner about those, too.

If your partner isn't into hitting, but you can both get turned on by nipple clamps, that would be a great realization to come to!

Peruse the sites and figure out which professionals might be a good fit.

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Kinky sex has made its way into mainstream culture in places other than poorly written erotica-gone-NYT-bestsellers-list.

Here's an experiment: Google "dominatrix" and your city name right now (I'll wait).

If your city is big enough, you'll probably return results from the web pages of professional Dominants. The pages explain their services, their rates, their rules.

Fet Life also organizes completely vanilla meet-ups so that members can meet face-to-face without any pressure.

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I've had success finding play partners on vanilla social networks, too — particularly for long-distance, text-based/Skype-based BDSM.Consider what else you might be into that comes with that: do you want it to be as a result of a transgression (punishment), or as something you ask for (reward? Do you want to be hit in different places on your body?

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