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18-Jun-2019 03:48

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If they tell you that they are loving their independence, celebrate with them.Do not overwrite single people’s experiences with your own expectations and stereotypes.Do not assume you know how single folks feel or what they need to hear about their singleness.Start by being friends with them, by sharing your life with them and vice versa.But even so, every page of the re-application form still had a question about my (nonexistent) spouse, like this one: “What is your moral responsibility to your spouse and children as a model to your congregation?” I tried to interpret it as best I could for my own situation, sharing how I hope my personal life as a single woman pastor models Christian character to my congregation.When I do talk about my experiences as a single woman, I usually talk among my friends, not in my church.Sharing my personal experiences on that panel was one of the most vulnerable things I’ve ever done, but I thought, “At least we’re finally talking about this.” Since then, I’ve been thinking about what I want the broader church community to understand about life as a single female pastor and how we can be a better community for single believers, especially single clergy.

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I might never meet and fall in love with someone willing and able to integrate their life with my life as a local church pastor.I didn’t leave that question blank, because I still want to show up to be vetted and affirmed and sent out by my church community.