Consequences of dating too young

09-Jul-2019 10:17

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In age-gap couples, men are more apt to have a younger than an older spouse, with 10 percent having a spouse who is six-to-nine years younger, and 5 percent marrying a woman 10 or more years younger.

Women show the opposite trend, with only 2 percent marrying men 6-9 years younger and only 1 percent having a spouse 10 or more years younger. If it seems like men who remarry often go for younger women, well, it’s not far from reality (Pew Research Center, 2014).

Here is a sample of potential issues especially salient to mixed-age couples: 1. Similarity predicts relationship satisfaction in long-term relationships (Amodio & Showers, 2005), and while all couples must navigate questions of shared interests and preferences, age-gap partners could experience this more than others. If marriage is a possibility, a conversation of when to take that next step could be particularly beneficial for age-gap couples.

Age might just be a number, or it could be a factor driving differences in preferred leisure activities, how to spend money, or other decisions. If one person’s social network is mostly made up of married couples and the other has only unmarried friends, each partner could be facing different pressures and expectations. Age-gap couples report experiencing general social disapproval of their relationships more than similar-aged peers do (Lehmiller & Agnew, 2006).

What you have to realize there are many very different reasons for age-disparity relationships.

For example, in the case of middle-aged men marrying younger women, it's not unusual for it to be a marriage that broke up because the wife went into menopause and lost all interest in intimacy, while the husband is still vigorous and youthful, and he hooks up with a younger and emotionally mature woman who is sick and tired of immature men her own age who don't have a job and still live in his parents' basement entertaining himself with video games and porn. Again, this is only to say that each of these circumstances involve UNIQUE matches.

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I was wondering if there are any down sides in having long-term relationships. The reasons for this association are fairly obvious (except perhaps to those in the quick courtship): it is very hard for two individuals to truly get to know each other and gauge long-term compatibility in a short amount of time, and very often individuals base their relationships on feelings of passion that are highly variable.

How do you know if an age-gap relationship will work?

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