Are you going to places and doing things that will expose you to the kind of person you’re hoping to meet? When I looked at my own lifestyle a few years ago, I realised that I had been spending most of my time in bars or at home with my coupled-up friends, which effectively gave me zero chance of meeting someone new.Then I started a ‘nomadic’ existence for a few years, where I spent no more than a month in each place, and *of course* this meant that I didn’t allow enough time to get to know potential candidates to find out if there might be *something* there.You’re used to setting goals and working hard to get what you want in other areas of your life. And a few little tweaks to how I was thinking and what I was doing completely shifted my perspective.When it comes to love and relationships, though, you’re not so sure. The result was, first, a number of amazing connections and, now, a loving relationship. No problem, you’ve got another one lined up tomorrow. And, on top, your single life is so great that it would require someone pretty damn spectacular to come along and take up space.This was due in part to my shyness (I just wasn’t confident enough to speak to strangers, let alone someone I fancied) and in part my ego (I didn’t want to admit that I liked someone in case they didn’t like me back).But it’s pretty clear that this isn’t a particularly effective strategy!
Founder / Entrepreneur As more people user Tinder and OKCupid to get a leg up in their careers, listing what you do for work in your bio could get you a number of reactions. Marcy Ayres, a 26-year-old photo editor in New York City, said when she was dating she could not imagine herself with a DJ or someone with another nightlife career and always swiped left. “I work with corporate drones and some of them are the funniest and most creative people I know,” she said. But for others, it is less about money and more about scheduling time together, something that can be difficult when careers are vastly different. Katrina Pallant, 34, who works in communications, says she doesn’t care what someone does for a living.But although it may feel a bit odd at first, you really can – and should – apply the same approach to relationships as you do in those other areas. No one knows what the future holds – but I do believe there are some things you can do to stack the odds in your favour. · What personality traits are most important to you? If you dig a bit deeper you’ll find a host of underlying beliefs that you have formed either based on personal experience or based on what you’ve seen in your parents, your friends, or even on TV.
Full disclosure: In no way do I see myself as a relationship expert and I’m reluctant to offer any kind of advice. The biggest barrier to getting what you want in your career is not knowing what that is – and the same applies in love! And I don’t mean “6ft, dark hair, athletic”, that’s neither specific enough nor meaningful. · How do they relate to your career or business goals? · What kind of things do they get up to in their spare time? · And, not just your partner: what type of relationship do you want? You don’t need to show it to anyone, but looking at it from time to time will help you to remember what’s really important to you and, if you’re open to a bit of ‘woo-woo’, will help you to attract that person into your life. These days, compared to when you lived in a little village and would marry someone local who was from a limited-but-clearly-defined pool of candidates, you have too much choice. It’s worth examining those fundamental beliefs and thoughts in order to uncover what might be getting in your way. The average pilot makes ,000, and the average physician’s assistant makes 4,000.