Avoid being needy dating
I was inspired to write this article for a reader who asked for help with her anxious attachment style…but don’t let the words “anxious attachment style” scare you; they have the power to teach you how to stop being a needy girlfriend!
“My boyfriend calls me a ‘needy girlfriend’ and my friends agree with him 🙁 ” writes Sarrah on How to Emotionally Detach From Someone You Care About.
And this leads right into my tips for needy girlfriends with anxious attachment styles…Maybe you never get excited and let down your guard. It would be a shame if a man distanced himself from you precisely BECAUSE you said you liked him. You keep finding guys who are ready to take the plunge, you dazzle them on a date or two, and you listen to them start gabbing about rings and honeymoons. When someone makes himself too accessible, too willing to jump into a relationship, we question him. At the end of the night, she said to me, “I’m glad to have you in my life”.That has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. We wonder how anyone could like us this much this soon. But when we’re crazy about someone and show it, we want that person to reciprocate. We’d had fun, but after three hours, I wasn’t yet “in her life”. I told her that I thought she was great, but that she might want to hold back on the big proclamations until we get to know each other better.Needless to say, that’s not going to work for everyone, but I think an authentic conversation is a lot better than dropping every guy like a hot potato the second he tells you he’s interested.
Let’s face it: It can be hard to keep your feelings below the surface when they’re just bursting to get out.
But take it from readers like Leah: full disclosure is like polyamory.